Last time I blogged, I was all fired up to get going, investigating the past of my father and the other founders of the Company. To fully understand our legacy, in an attempt to level the playing field in this daunting new era of exposure. How else can we face the future?
I've combed through my father's office looking for anything that might give me a place to start my quest - a sign, a clue, anything. I went back through the safe, all through the last few years of his files, took up the carpet. I even brought in a team of guys with spectrometers and sniffing dogs. Nothing, nada, zilch, zip, zero.
I sat quietly, and started to think it through... and I thought myself right into a dark, existential funk. After all, what is the legacy of our fathers, really? A world plagued by war and on the brink of economic chaos, where millions of children go to bed hungry every night? Where so many still refuse their fellow man the dignity and respect inherent in the phrase "we are all created equal"? How do specials like us stand a chance out in the open?
It was only after a serious, soul-searching talk with Ando that I realized the true root of my distress. It's grief over the loss of my Charlie. Yes, I know what you'll say... That Charlie led a beautiful and productive life. That we mustn't step on the butterflies. A true hero knows when it's time to let go... And I have. But there's a part of me that will always mourn what might have been. There's a part of me that wonders if I'll ever love again. Sometimes, especially late at night, the pain of losing Charlie is almost unbearable.
For now, I've decided to take it easy on myself. Let this grief flow through me, honoring it without holding on to it. Use the pain to fuel my quest. I'm just beginning to understand the gift that Charlie has given me. When her world changed forever in an instant, she simply got on with life. Did the best she could with what she had. As always, Charlie inspires me to a better person.
So, it's time to get on with it. I am certain that the door to the rabbit hole of the past lays somewhere within the walls of this building. I am going to search every square inch of it until I find something. Until then -
HN.
